On Endings 2: End Harder

No, I do not suspect I shall grow weary of that joke anytime in the near future.

That may never end, but my book has.

That is correct, people: I am proud to announce that I have completed a first draft of my novel!

Granted, I wrote the first half of this book two or three times but I always bounced off of that flabby middle. This time, I broke through it and out of sheer force of stubborn, ground my way to the ending.

It’s not what I would call a ‘glorious’ feeling (though my celebration cheesecake was certainly fantastic), but it does feel, well, good.

I find myself almost in a smug state, a proverbial tight lipped smile and shake of the head at all those who told me I could never finish this novel.

To clarify, “all those” would be me. Just me, quite insistent that this is never going to happen. Everyone else in my life has been supportive, in their own ways, but I remained resolute in my belief that this was impossible for me.


In a lot of ways, my ending sucks, but it sucks in a manner I predicted and I am fairly certain I can fix with a lot of massaging and maybe some reconstructive surgery. A bit of the emotional buildup fell flat, but I needed to let it fall flat so that I did not dwell on it instead of finishing.

This is the first novel-length work I have finished. The other book I wrote, which is a project that will take years before it can see the light of day, wrapped initially at around 35,000 words. No small feat, writing that, but it was incomplete, short, and I knew it was going nowhere for a while.

My current draft is different, because it IS going somewhere, and soon. I already have at least one place to which I know I will submit it, and plan to research more.

That smug feeling is mixed with apprehension. My wife pointed out to me that this feels different, too, because it was not ‘written just for me,’ or whatever it is they say. This was written because I like the story, sure, but also because I wouldn’t mind being paid for it.

Edits are forthcoming for the beginning part — the section that is, at the moment, the most polished — but I am considering setting it aside after that for the month of November.

NaNoWriMo is coming up and I think, just maybe, I can win it for the first time.

The main reason is that I have been writing consistently, every day, for over four months now. I have never done that prior to now and since I’m writing every day, why not just write that little bit more and crank out yon 50,000 words next month?

Plus, I’m at just the right spot to open a new project, having wrapped this draft. It will be refreshing, I think, to get out of that headspace for a little while and see what new story frontiers I might explore.

Now I just have to pick an idea and start planning…

2 thoughts on “On Endings 2: End Harder

  1. That is awesome man! I am currently trying to finish the outline for my novel that I hope to do for NaNoWriMo. I probably will not finish it during the months as it will be more like 60K, but I hope to actually “win” this year.

  2. Congratulations, Jon.
    You really were the only one who didn’t think you’d finish this. :) The rest of us were just waiting for you to surprise yourself.

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